A lie that will keep you stuck in life: Bloom where you are planted
Well, you’re doing the best you can with what’s going on…it could be worse…sometimes you have to take those lemons and make lemonade…
You just need to bloom where you are planted. We’ve all heard these old adages from time to time but if you’re hearing it so often (especially saying it to yourself) that it has turned into a mantra for you; you have bought into a lie that will keep you stuck in life.
Seven years ago I bought a plant called a Butterfly Bush. I had the perfect spot; good soil, proper drainage and it would receive the sunshine it needed. Problem was that a few weeks after I placed it in its new home, the tree next to it exploded with growth. I figured I would wait and see what would happen.
Well, for 6 years I waited while my plant survived, showing green leaves every spring but nothing more. No buds, no flowers, no butterflies. My plant was missing a component it had to have in order to bloom; sunshine. No amount of me telling it; come on, we can make the best of a bad situation, hey it could always be worse, let’s do a few flower mantras and positive affirmations together…nope, none of that was going to change its plant DNA. No sun, no flowers.
Last year I finally did something about the situation. I transplanted my Butterfly Bush to the back yard where it would get full sun for most of the day. And behold; it has bloomed.
I’ve done this before in my life; staying at a job, in a relationship, with a financial problem, thinking that someday, something would change. I figured it was me, if I would just tried harder, I would get it.
Sometimes that might be the case, especially if you find yourself changing careers, relationships, etc and still having the same challenges, yeah it’s probably you. But, just like our bloomin’ buddies, we have to have the right mix of soil, water and light to move from surviving to thriving.
Some things to consider;
1. Are you even planted in the right spot? Is there potential for growth in the soil where you are (or are you just getting soiled on)? If yes, the soil is fertile, then move onto #2. If not, think about transplanting to a new place.
2. So you have the soil mix, now you need the water. This is the nourishment you receive from doing your job, your relationships, life in general. Sometimes we have to fine tune this area; not enough water and we whither, too much and we rot. What part(s) of your life bring you the most satisfaction and how can you capitalize on them? Keep in mind that some of us need more emotional nourishment than others…The Desert Cactus blooms with minimal water where the Water Lily lives in it. What are your needs, not those of your friends/family/co-workers? You may be a Passion Flower and they’re Ragweed, to each their own (although sometimes the idea of using weed killer is soooo appealing). Once you’ve accomplished this move onto #3.
3. How much sunshine do you need to bloom? I have Hosta in my yard that actually does great in the shade. Their long green stalks with tiny bell like blooms line the front of my house. That is not what was needed for the butterfly bush, though. Full sun for a good part of the day was required for it to prosper. What type of recognition (sun) do you need and how much? Can you bloom if you are in the background or do you need full sun or a combination? How can you position yourself to get what you need?
We all have times when we have to make the best of a challenging situation. And there is one item I’ve not covered; manure (one man’s B.S. is another’s fertilizer but that’s for another time). My question; are you making those challenging times a habit? Because if you are, once that situation is resolved you will create another challenge to take its place.
So, are you thriving or just surviving?
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